


Bad Days

by delightwrites



Series: fluffy and/or angsty mosaik ficlets [3]
Category: Abrafaxe (Comics), Mosaik (Comics)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, califax baby i’m so sorry for this, i’ve been thinking about anxiety and coincidentally reread some issues of mosaik, supportive siblings being supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2021-02-07 06:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21453901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightwrites/pseuds/delightwrites
Summary: There were good days and there were Bad Days.
Relationships: Abrax & Brabax & Califax
Series: fluffy and/or angsty mosaik ficlets [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546549
Kudos: 1





	Bad Days

There were good days and there were Bad Days. Bad Days, when he had this feeling, this cruel and unshakable panic lurking behind every breath he took, every word he spoke, every tear hiding in the corner of his eye and every fidgety movement of his hands he hoped no one would notice.

Sometimes Bad Days came like grey clouds gathering on the horizon before a thunderstorm. Califax could not hide from the storm but at least he could see it coming. But sometimes they came without a warning sign, like earthquakes, catching him off-guard and shattering the foundations of his very life.

On Bad Days, he couldn’t control his Thoughts. They would run back-and-forth, chasing each other in his skull. They would speak in his own voice, or sometimes in the voice Abrax or Brabax. And they would call him whining and fat and useless.

This was one of the Bad Days.

Califax locked himself in the kitchen and made up some excuse about how difficult this meal he was trying to make was and how he needed to concentrate in order for it to be as exquisite as it needed to be.

And he tried to concentrate, he really tried. Usually cooking could get his mind off his worries. It could get his mind off nearly anything. But not off the Thoughts. Not on Bad Days.

_not good enough_

He tried suatéing the vegetables but he ended up overcooking them. There had been Bad Days in the past (and in the future, for that record) and he had gotten through them. In Austria, when he was alone, locked up in a cell, convinced that Abrax and Brabax will be better off without him for sure. In Greece, when he couldn’t navigate the broken shards of their friendships no matter how hard he tried. In Egypt, when it seemed like he’d lost everything and wasn’t worthy of getting any of it back. In Peru, when he considered giving everything up alltogether. In America, where he buried himself in work and cried himself to sleep at night.

_unimportant_

His Thoughts were screaming and he felt lost in his own head. He dropped a glass bowl, accidentally, and watched it shatter to a thousand pieces as it hit the ground. His rat got scared and found shelter under the kitchen counter. He tried to lure her out, kneeling on the ground, not noticing the shards cutting his legs and arms. But the rat was unwilling to come out from her newly-found safe haven. Califax sighed, resting his back against the kitchen door. He was alone with his Thoughts, his bleeding hands and the smell of the burnt dinner.

_pathetic_

‘Man, Califax what are you doing in there?’ He heard Abrax’s footsteps closing in.

'Nothing!’ he rushed with the answer. 'Just dropped something by accident.’

But Abrax must have heard something was off with his voice because he tried opening the kitchen door. Except it was locked.

'Wha- Califax, why’s the kitchen door locked?’ His voice was annoyed, maybe even angry.

'What is it?’ Brabax arrived too, sounding uninterested in whatever the blond one was up to. Abrax was shaking the doorknob now.

_annoying_

'Abrax, please…’ Califax was on the verge of tears. 'You can leave.’

'What the hell do you mean leave? What’s wrong with you?’ Abrax stopped shaking the doorknob.

_unnecessary_

'I mean that-’ Califax’s voice choked back but he found the strength to continue. 'That you don’t have to pretend. To care.’

'Wha-’ Abrax sounded like he couldn’t breathe. 'What do you mean pretend to care? Do you think… You seriously think I-’

'Open the door, Califax.’ Brabax’s voice was calm as he interrupted Abrax’s frustrated shouts. Califax’s fists clenched.

He shook his head.

_unloveable_

'Listen here,’ started Brabax, sounding a bit less collected. 'I’m… I’m not good at this, you’re the one who’s good at this… but I’ll try, okay?’

Califax shook his head again and pulled up his knees to his face.

_burden_

'We know you. We’ve known you for a long time and we know what you’re like… You think so little of yourself Califax, and that’s not right. Not right, be-because you are a good person and you don’t deserve that. In fact,’ Brabax chuckled. 'You’re the best of us.’

There were tears rolling down on Califax’s cheeks but his hands weren’t shaking as much anymore.

'Yeah,’ sighed Abrax. 'We don’t even deserve you. You’re kind and selfless and… and so many things we’re not. Things that make you you and that’s awesome.’

Califax buried his face in his hands, smudging the tears with his blood sweeping from the cuts on his palm. The Thoughts grew weaker. Quieter. Calmer.

'Remember, in Greece, Califax,’ Brabax spoke again, gaining more confidence. 'you promised me you’d never forget we’re your friends? I-I know it’s hard, we make it hard bu-but we’re… we’re trying. And I know we don’t say it enough but you have to know, we’re not pretending. Never. We care about you… Because you are our… our friend or our little brother or… or I don’t know, but the point is-’

'The point is, we love you,’ Abrax stated.

'Yeah.’

_we love you_

-

They heard the click of the opening lock. Abrax and Brabax scraped themselves up from the floor. Califax stood there in the doorway, not looking up at them. His shirt and pants were torn, red droplets decorating them. His face was smudgy from the tears and his eyes still red from crying.

'Did you really mean… what you said?’ he muttered.

'Of course,’ said Brabax.

'Every word,’ added Abrax, stepping closer and reaching out to the little one. Very slowly, he pulled Califax into a hug. He heard a loud sniff but Califax didn’t object. Brabax just stood there with a fond smile stuck on his face before Abrax motioned him to join the embrace. He nodded, stepping closer and putting his arms around the other two.

-

Califax was crying again. But these were other kinds of tears.

They still took his voice away, so when he wanted to say 'I love you too’, it was only a slight whisper.

But that didn’t matter because those who needed to hear it, heard it. They were quite close, actually, not letting go of their friend. Not for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @afuckindelighttobearound


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